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Understanding Anger

emotional health Oct 07, 2022

Ok so this is a BIG topic for today. And our strategy here is simply to understand anger a little better, so that we might overtime be able to learn more effective ways to manage and transform it in our lives.

Dr. Brené Brown in her book ‘Braving the Wilderness’ shares: 

“Anger is a catalyst. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice. Or sometimes anger can mask a far more difficult emotion like grief, regret, or shame, and we need to use it to dig into what we’re really feeling. Either way, anger is a powerful catalyst but a life-sucking companion.”

In essence our anger shows us a pattern or belief that we have inside. As we learn to observe it and have more compassion and understanding for what lies under our experience of anger, we can learn how to disarm and transform it.

The Step-by-Step Guide today gives a powerful way to grow in our awareness, and a simple way to begin to disarm and transform it gradually.

Today’s step-by-step guide is focused at supporting you in having more awareness and understanding about your anger. 

You will need:

  • A journal or notebook for writing in over time
  • Pen
  • Courage and compassion for yourself
  1. The next time you get really angry, answer the following question in writing:
    What am I angry about?
    What is wrong, bad, or shouldn’t be the way that it is?
    And what else am I feeling right now? [Do your best to be aware of any hurt and sadness that live underneath your anger]
  2. As you do this overtime, powerful patterns will emerge. Write down what ‘other feelings’ your anger is trying to protect, or distract you from feeling.
  3. As you become aware of these ‘other feelings’, do your best to make space for them, and focus on feeling them more than just focusing on your anger.
  4. As you feel the ‘other feelings’ and allow yourself to see them, hear them and accept them, you will find you become less angry in similar situations.

As I said initially, this is a BIG topic that really requires deep and intimate unpacking. And we will continue to address anger throughout the program. 

And if you have questions to ask Dr. Zoë Lumiere, you can ask them either for the LIVE Q&A on the first Wednesday of the month, or head over to the Facebook Group and ask your question there!


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CREDIT • Acknowledgements
Strategy by Zoë Lumiere
Step-by-Step Guide by Zoë Lumiere
Scientific Research by Dr. Brene Brown
Quote by Dr. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Image used in Quote by Sebastiaan Stam via unsplash

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This Happy Coaching Strategy and Guide is a resource created for Fenix & Friends’ Happy Coaching Membership • © Copyright Lumiere Inc 2022 • Unless otherwise expressly stated, all copyright and other intellectual property rights contained in this website are owned by Lumiere Inc and all rights are hereby reserved. To contact us for permission and licensing email [email protected]

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