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Making Space for Anger

emotional health Dec 02, 2022

There’s been a lot of new research recently, uncovering just how damaging suppressing and repressing anger is. Not allowing, expressing or letting go of anger can lead to anxiety, depression, heart problems, and a range of other diseases. Not to mention impact relationships and quality of life.

A 2013 study reported their conclusion: “Emotion suppression may convey risk for earlier death, including death from cancer… (and) in particular other studies on the suppression of anger in particular have noted increased all-cause mortality.”1

And from Dr. Felson: “Suppressed anger can be an underlying cause of anxiety and depression. Anger that is not appropriately expressed can disrupt relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of physical problems. Chronic (long-term) anger has been linked to health issues such as high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders, and digestive problems. In addition, anger can be linked to problems such as crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior.”

But despite the clinical research available, most of us were raised NOT to allow and make time and space for our anger. We were told it was wrong. We were told we were wrong if we felt angry.

The Step-by-Step Guide today gives you a path to overtime release and liberate the suppressed and repressed anger that all humans suffer from, in service to greater health and happiness.


STEP-BY-STEP • Releasing Suppressed and Repressed Anger

Today’s step-by-step guide is simply focused at supporting you in changing your beliefs about anger, and to over time release the suppressed and repressed anger that we all feel.

You will need: • 10 + minutes

  • An open mind and an open heart
  1. Repeat silently or out loud and be open to your inner experience of the following:
    • It’s ok to be angry.
    • If I’m angry it doesn’t mean anything wrong about me.
    • All humans feel angry.
    • I’m allowed to be, and feel angry.
    • If someone else is angry, it doesn’t mean anything about me.
    • If someone else is angry at me, it doesn’t mean anything about me.
    • I am allowed to feel as angry as I do.
    • I am making time and space for myself to feel my anger when it comes up.
  2. The next time you feel anger, give yourself the gift of a little time and space, so that you can: 
    1. First let yourself feel the anger. Take yourself somewhere quiet, away from others and distractions. And just let yourself feel the anger.
      Where do you feel it in your body?
      If it had a color what color would it be?
      Does it have a texture or movement?
    2. Then accept it. Tell yourself it’s welcomed inside of you. Accept, welcome and embrace your feelings of anger. Reminding yourself every human has feelings of anger. It’s normal. It’s healthy. And they are a welcomed experience of being alive. 
    3. Ask your anger if it has something it NEEDS or WANTS to say. It might not. If not go to D. But if it does, let your anger simply express whatever it has to say. Let it speak out-loud, or write it down. There’s nothing you need to do with this. Just let the anger speak. You’re not going to follow or take directions from your anger. But it’s important that it is heard, honored and released. 
    4. Now thank your anger and let it go.
  3. Finally consider that all anger is an expression of a need for love, for intimacy, for connection. Yes it can be hard to see what that is. But as you: a) feel, and then b) accept it, c) voice it, and then d) thank it and release it… you will come to see the heart of all anger is for greater connection and closeness… so when your anger comes up… be open and aware of what it truly is asking for…

And if you have questions to ask Dr. Zoë Lumiere, you can ask them either for the LIVE Q&A on the first Wednesday of the month, or head over to the Facebook Group and ask your question there!


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CREDIT • Acknowledgements

Strategy by Zoë Lumiere
Step-by-Step Guide by Zoë Lumiere

1 Scientific Research by Benjamin P. Chapman, PhD, MPH, Kevin Fiscella, MD, MPH, Ichiro Kawachi, MD, PhD, Paul Duberstein, PhD, and Peter Muennig, MD, MPH4
2 Scientific Research by Sabrina Felson MD
Quote by Eckhart Tolle
Image used in Quote by Sebastiaan Stam via unsplash


IMPORTANT • Disclaimer

Please be aware that you are responsible for all professional, legal, medical, financial, business, spiritual, decisions and outcomes in your life. This information is NOT to be used as a substitute for professional advice by legal, medical, financial, business, spiritual, mental health, or other qualified professionals. By using this information you acknowledge that deciding how to handle these issues, incorporating coaching into those areas, and implementing your choices is exclusively your responsibility.
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