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It’s Healthy to be Unhappy

emotional health Oct 13, 2022

As a mental health professional, one of the things I’m aware of when we post Fenix’ ‘always happy happy videos’ is that it’s actually not healthy to try to be happy all the time.

Just like the seasons, we go up, and we go down.

We have Summer – our moments of happy, expansion and higher energy.

And we have winter – our moments of sadness, downtime and lower energy.

One of the most helpful strategies I can share to help anyone be happier – is to learn how to accept and feel however you are.

It is often our resistance to feeling our sadness, or anger, or disappointment, or whatever other ‘negative’ emotions that are present, that messes up our own inner emotional cycles… and can actually hold us out of Summer for longer than we want!

The Step-by-Step Guide below will support you in allowing the greatest happiness possible.

I hope you’re able to relate to feeling happy sometimes, and to feeling sad sometimes. And if you can’t, please do seek a mental health professional to support you, or chat to someone here for free.

STEP-BY-STEP • Allowing All Emotional Seasons

What goes up must come down. And what is now down… is destined to come up!

You will need:

  • Courage and compassion for yourself
  • About 20 minutes to read and contemplate
  1. Be aware of the last time you felt even a little happy? Let yourself feel that. Great job.
  2. Be aware of the last time you felt even a little sad? Let yourself feel that. Great job.
  3. Be aware of the last time you felt even a little annoyed? Let yourself feel that. Great job.
  4. Be aware of the last time you felt even a little disappointed? Let yourself feel that. Great job.
  5. That’s it! That’s all you need to do to allow your emotional seasons!  And yes it is easier said than done. Often when we do feel sad, or annoyed or disappointed etc we distract or numb or deny ourselves. But it’s not that hard right? You just did it. You sat down, and took some time to simply feel. It didn’t last forever. And you did survive. What a powerful reference point! Now keep living your life… it’s going to be filled with happiness, and sadness and everything in between… Embrace it all!
  6. Break-it-Down Support 🚨 If you’re finding it hard to ‘feel a little happy’, or ‘a little sad’ etc… try these tips. 
    1. First get rid of all distractions. Close the door. Find a safe, comfy space.
    2. Breathe for 10 seconds or so. Focus on feeling your chest go up as naturally breathe in. Then feel your chest exhale naturally.
    3. Ok now keep your awareness and focus within your body. Feel your left hand. Now feel your right hand. Great job.
    4. Now feel a moment when you were happy, keeping your awareness and focus inside of your physical body, not up in or around your head. Keep your focus inside the body.
    5. Now feel a time when you were sad and feel it in the physical body.
    6. That’s it! It’s often challenging to feel our feelings because they’re uncomfortable and we’re conditioned to think not feel. So the next time you want to let yourself feel, slow down, breathe and bring your awareness into your physical body. It can be that simple.  

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CREDIT • Acknowledgements

Strategy by Zoë Lumiere
Step-by-Step Guide by Zoë Lumiere
Free Telephone Counseling by Open Counseling
Quote by Zoë Lumiere
Image used in Quote by Marc Schadegg via unsplash

© COPYRIGHT • Lumiere Inc 2022

This Happy Coaching Strategy and Guide is a resource created for Fenix & Friends’ Happy Coaching Membership • © Copyright Lumiere Inc 2022 • Unless otherwise expressly stated, all copyright and other intellectual property rights contained in this website are owned by Lumiere Inc and all rights are hereby reserved. To contact us for permission and licensing email [email protected].


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